Saturday, August 9, 2008

A Bit Of Catching Up


Lists sure can be a fun and creative way to convey a whole range of things. Today I utilize such a tactic to answer an inquiring public’s call for a very unmannerly absence, and for your entertainment.

      1.)    Sarcasm, wielded with a sense of humor and in a non-combative way, is one of my favorite social lubricants. Let me provide an example: Surprise! You’re Diabetic! I would really like to make a whole series of screen printed t-shirts sporting an array of sobering realizations prefaced with a genuinely cheerful “Surprise” and flanked with exclamations. But seriously, if you find yourself with an uncanny urge to urinate every hour, on the hour, you might want to visit your family doctor or, if you’re in the middle of final exams week, an urgent care facility. And quenching an insatiable thirst with two large glasses of orange juice isn’t a good idea for anybody. Period.

2.)    Hospitals are amazingly interesting places. One question still haunts me: why does a surprisingly attractive brunet continually come seeking blood from my veins circa 3am? And why does she leave so soon?

3.)    My parents lived in Key West, Florida, when I was very young for nearly three years. And my father’s father for roughly two years while serving in the Navy many years before that. After returning there as an adult, vacationing with both parties, it wouldn’t be horrible to keep the tradition going. And my earliest memory may indeed be a fabrication constructed over the years. I’ve read about such things, and, after experiencing it first hand, understand just how fragile our past really is.

4.)    Bowling Green, Kentucky, isn’t a horrible place to be stuck when traveling across country. I’d go as far to say pleasant. Very friendly and knowledgeable mechanics. Their futile efforts to revive the white Pontiac Bonneville were greatly appreciated.

5.)    Used car salesmen are fascinating. When you sit down to negotiate an interest rate in the future, wait until they offer it to you clearly. Then ask them, “Is that YOUR buy rate?” Their jaw will really hit the floor. No joke!

6.)    It may surprise you which one of your creative endeavors might capture the passions and minds of others, land you an interview with the BBC radio show Culture Shock, and a guest starring spot on CNET’s hilarious Podcast called The 404. So just watch out for that. Ok?

7.)    Having an inbox brimming with well over 5,000 individual regrets from complete strangers can be an amazingly powerful catalyst for someone to live their life with a renewed courage and perspective. To the mostly faceless multitude, thank you.